Jay here on Shackle Road.
I was where you were once. Countless hours waisted – downloading image after image. Entertaining my little secret and allowing porn and lust run uncontrollably.
While at the same time dealing with shame, regret and the feeling like God would never use anyone like me.
I found myself at this place, I called – on Shackle Road.
That place where you feel lost and that no one shares your struggle or can even know about what’s going on – alone.
Struggling with porn and breaking the porn habit is likely one of the toughest things someone can do.
So it is here on Shackle Road where we make our choice – to continue down this same old road, or to set out on a new path.
My Back Story
Certainly, I had been exposed to porn at a fairly early age and had already started masturbating by the age of 7, but I had never seriously gotten into porn until I was an adult.
Sadly for me it was at a time when my wife was pregnant with our first born son – she was very sick in her first trimester, and was pretty much not interested in even being touched by me – to say the least.
So much so that at times her responses were fairly harsh and somehow, I justified that entitled me to start watching porn on the Internet (well dial-up at least). To be honest, I would have landed there anyway.
As a note, my wife and I are doing pretty great now.
Fast-forward to 2004
Five years later, I am at men’s retreat with my church and having a great time, but the weight of the conviction of the Holy Spirit (a strong sense of the wrongs you have done and the need to be freed from it) was overwhelming.
We were sent out to pray and I just began weeping – I mean heavy sorrow – I just could not shake it – I had to come clean.
We had returned for the final session and the leader asked was there anyone who had something they wanted to share – seconds later I am standing before a hundred or so other men – crying and saying out loud that I struggled with porn and masturbation and God had broken my heart about it.
The Journey Begins
I realized a couple things that day –
- so many others also struggled with the same thing and somehow my being open about it gave them permission to be open as well, and
- we cannot do this on our own – we need others to walk this road with us.
That retreat, God gave me a vision for starting a group of guys dedicate to breaking this awful habit and this verse from the Bible, from a section called Proverbs.
Proverbs chapter 18 verse 1 – “A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment.” – New King James Version (NKJV).
To let you know, it’s still a struggle – I am not as successful as I would like to be, but not where I was for sure.
It is my belief that, together, freedom from watching porn is obtainable – by realizing we are powerless to do this on our own, by joining together with other men on a common mission to put lust, porn and masturbation to death in our lives, and by submitting ourselves to God’s authority and His Holy Spirit.
This is why Shackle Road exists!!!!