Here are some things that help me when I struggle with wanting to watch porn.
I am certain the list can be added to; but there’s enough here to get started, and to be honest, sometimes simpler is better. Use it as a springboard to come up with your own.
What are some of your tactics? Share your ideas below.👇
Tactics
Imo, there are really only 3 primary tactics that help break the porn and the masturbating habit –
- “Renew the mind”,
- “Take your thoughts captive”, and
- “Obedience” (or taking action)
These three must be used together.
The first is adding new things to your heart and mind that help bring about your desired goal – this is like eating a different way to bring about a healthier lifestyle.
The second is used to grab your minds attention to think on something else – meaning when you’re jonesin’, and it comes to your attention as to what is happening, these are used to interrupt whatever it is that your mind is running away with – even if it is only for a moment.
The third is, using the opportunity of the second to take immediate action to do something else. Depending on how challenging your struggle is, will determine the ‘severity’ of the action(s) you need to take.
Renew the mind
You’ve probably heard folks say something like, “you are what you eat”.
It might also be said, and probably more true, that you are what you think.
These are positive changes you need to make in your life to bring about better and new ways of thinking and responding – here are some examples
- Read a daily chapter from the Book of Proverbs in the Bible – there are 31, so as an example, you could on the 15th of the month, read Proverbs 15.
- Get a daily scripture and / or inspirational quotes sent to your phone or create your own list – there are likely apps for this
- Listen to a sermon, a podcast like “Crossways on Shackle Road” or watch a video that promotes better thoughts and emotions
- Review the ‘whys’ of your desire for change or be different, like —everything about porn is a LIE! Think about it.
- Decide, in advance, your responses to temptation
Taking your thoughts captive
Capturing your thoughts occurs in two steps:
- Interrupt your current thought process, and
- Redirect it to something else.
I know this is not rocket science, but it’s a good reminder how this works.
Step 1: Interrupt your current thought process — Sometimes simply saying “Hey.” or “No.” is enough. Being stern with yourself – “That’s ENOUGH!” – sometimes the more emotional the better. I’ve even tried using a rubber band on my wrist and snapping it hard. There are a few challenges with this challenge can be that it is often very short-lived, so applying the redirection step needs to immediately follow.
Step 2: Redirect to something else — Think on how this hurts your relationships (with God, family or friends) – even if it’s the lack of them. Drawing on your honor. Quote Bible verses to yourself. Sing a song. Think about how sad it is that you’re dealing with this or how you are being robbed of happiness and/or peace. Write in a private notebook (non-cloud-syncing) on your phone. It helps me talk to myself in a notebook like this. One of my most favorites is from September of 2020, where I wrote, “You cannot be victorious by giving in! It is a lie to say that you will try again tomorrow. It leads only to double-mindedness and continued failure!“ I had a friend who would recall the scene in The Passion movie where they beat Jesus.
As a note: Be energetic or use emotional tones with yourself – I find that sad or angry tones help.
All else fails, you need a distraction – see below.
Obedience (Taking Actions)
Sometimes simply pray “God Help!” and then go do something – immediacy is key. Obedience does not always need to occur begrudgingly. In fact, it is important to note that sheer will power is not enough to succeed in this journey, you need to satisfy the old desires with new things that are healthy and at the same time satisfy. Replacing the bad habit of watching porn with a new passion.
- Sharing what’s going on with a trusted and “healthier” friend – bring light to what’s going on is very freeing.
- Get out of your place – when you’re feeling the desire to act out, sitting around and hoping it will go away will not work! Go for a walk or a run or push ups or do garden work
- Read / Listen / Watch something inspiring
- Go see something beautiful – where’s that place in your town that is just a great place to go – a park, hill, overlook, lake, river, creek, etc.
- Exercise – enough you need to catch your breath 🙂
- Yes – Take a cold shower
It would be important to note that if you’re actions are not helping, they are likely not equal to the severity of the needed for your habit or you are waiting to long to take action.
Distractions
Distractions have a different goal when it comes to breaking the porn / fapping habit. They are used to avoid situations that create opportunities for you to act on you habit. These are not really that complicated, but again, the intensity of these distractions will be based on where you are in the process of breaking your habit or the situation you find yourself in.
Btw, this means that you need to start paying attention to regular triggers.
For me, one is being left home alone, another might be when I am really cranky and I get that feeling like I don’t care anymore. So, instead of sitting on the couch waiting for the inevitable – go outside and do some yard work.
As an example for me – If being left alone is a trigger, when I experience that, I plan to go out for a walk, even if it’s a short one. I do this to break the typical sequence that occurs.
Distractions become your go to items when your struggling – of course ‘everything in moderation’ – don’t let your distraction become a new ‘bad’ habit. You can do this by having many of these handy and mixing things up a bit.
Again, if a distraction seems not to be working, put it aside and pick another.
Anyway, I hope you find this helpful.
Please leave a comment below and consider adding your ideas to our community discussion.
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