In this video I am going to focus on 3 key decisions you should make in your journey to overcoming porn, and strategies on how to put them into action today.
Having trouble finding success? At the end of this video, I will share a resource on how to seek others for help, so stick around.
If you’re new to this channel – welcome!… Jay here on Shackle Road, where I discuss tips, tactics, and routines to help Christian men break free from watching porn for good and to live lives of freedom.
Now let’s get to it!
You literally make 10s of thousands of decisions (if not more) each day and perform even more routines pretty much on autopilot – that’s right most of the things we do throughout our day are as a result of habit – it is an invisible force of cues, routines and rewards. However, you have been gifted with a wonderfully thoughtful mind to help you drive change in your life.
When you are trying to overcome porn, these 3 types of decisions need to be made and how you make them is just as important – yes, it may be a bit easier said than done – but God calls us to “Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” and running around on autopilot will NOT do!
Which gets us to…
Decision #1 – Make the BIG Decision – Decide to stop watching porn.
I am not sure how you landed on this video but hey getting to the big decision is not always a straight line, but here you are none-the-less (as am I so…)
When it comes to making this decision there are a few things to keep in mind
1) It is unlikely for most people that this is a one and done decision – so let’s get that out of the way.
Change your way of thinking on this – It’s about making progress – NOT about perfection
2) You need to know your Whys.
Deciding to stop watching porn is a little bit like being asked by a Walmart greeter to pick them up from the airport at 5am.
There is not a big enough why to make that happen
But Jimmy – Yes Jimmy! Jimmy is your long-time friend. He was your best man. He cried with you when you lost your dad and agreed to take your kids if anything happened to you.
He has always had your back
JIMMY is worthy of getting out of bed at 4am to pick him up at the airport at 5!
So list out the reasons you HATE it and the reasons quitting is better – these will strengthen your resolve, and you should read it every day!
3) Most importantly, focus on who you want to become.
Write out…
What does a man who doesn’t watch porn look like?
What does that man do?
Do not simply focus on stopping your behavior but on who you want to become
You need to both put off the old man and put on the new – both!
So yes! Decide to stop watching porn, be clear on your whys, and focus on who you are becoming
Decision #2 – Make Deliberate and Specific Decisions
List things you want to change that make you more like the man God has called you to be – recalling to mind the person you want to become and what they do.
Keep the list short to start – you can add, subtract, or modify it along the way – again it is about progress over perfection
And keep in mind where you are in your journey If you’re a couch potato, you have some work to do to be able to run a marathon so focus on a few things at a time
Your list should not only be subtractive
– Do not watch P before 9am
– Do not M before 10am
– Do not be in the cafeteria when Julie gets her coffee
But it should also be additive
– Pray before I get out of bed in the morning
– Read my Whys list
– Practice my memory quote or Bible verse
– Listen to my Victory Playlist
Btw, you may find that gaining some control in these areas may have positive impacts on other areas in your life – finances, weight, positivity, etc.
For this list, I highly recommend getting a habit tracker, as there are several benefits to using one – There are three I recommend and let me know if you’d like me to discuss my experience with them
Decision #3 – >>> Make Advanced Decisions <<<
While the previous decision type is focused on you as a whole and refining your character
Advanced decisioning is about making choices ahead of time as you may have guessed.
So that, when you are in the throes of temptation and struggle, your decision has already been made.
So, if getting a shower is where you struggle, while you have the clarity of mind, decide before you even get up to get a shower what is going to happen – I’m going to get in, get cleaned, get out and get dressed – just like setting your alarm to wake up at 4 am when you NEVER wake up at 4 am to pick up Jimmy from the airport.
Btw, you are an emotional being
Your acting out is NOT intellectual
It’s very much emotional – so make it emotional
Saying to yourself in a defeated Eeyore voice, “I am not going to M when I take a shower” will not work.
Try saying, “In and out baby, that’s what I do!” (With energy)
Another thing to note – did you catch it? I simply reminded my mind about the person I am becoming – “that is what I do”!
I hope you are finding this helpful. If you are, would you let me know which of these has stood out to you most? Comment Below
One last thing – If you’re struggling with these things and you’re finding it difficult to overcome, it might be helpful to share your struggle with someone.
I know the idea of doing that may seem really daunting, but here’s the thing…
Being honest and open about your struggle brings it to light which does three things
– It loses its power when brought into the light
– It strengthens your resolve because someone else knows
– And it will lift an incredible weight from your shoulders from all the hiding and shame
To help, I have shared a link to a resource on how find someone and how approach sharing your struggle with them.
Just remember – “Stand firm therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free.”
Peace!
