I have this picture in my home office – it’s one of my favorites.
I love that Jesus is walking on the water in his bare feet – and even more so, how odd it must have been for Peter to look up and see them. 😀
It brings to me so many imaginations – specifically that God stepped out of heaven and condescended himself to take on human form, so that he could not only save me, but to also be acquainted with my struggles. And he so graciously reaches out to save me.
Today, I was looking at it again.
This time I was thinking about Peter
And then this quiet question – “Why was he so afraid?”
Let me back up a bit.
Peter was a fisherman!
He likely was literally a like a fish in the water
After Jesus’s resurrection, Peter jumps in and swims to the shore when he sees him sitting there.
I get the wind and the waves caused him to doubt, but I have to believe he could have surely swam back to the boat and got back in – as he probably had done 100s of times before.
So again, why was he so afraid?
I started to think about his confidence – “Lord if it’s you, call me out onto the water…”, but “when he saw the wind and the waves…” he began to sink.
His confidence wavered.
We, as Christians, all secretly believe that God will grant us health, wealth, success, health kids that love the Lord, longevity, etc.
However, if you asked any of us we would surely reply that Jesus told us that “that in this world you will have troubles.”
I wonder if Peter’s thoughts were really more like mine might have been
“How am I sinking?”, “I don’t understand.” Jesus, told me to do this.”
And maybe his fears also – “Why is this so hard?”, “Why is this not going the why I had expected?”
I think the fear comes when God desires to correct our false confidences and to reset them appropriately – in him alone.
When are confidences are challenged, God feels scary because we don’t understand what he is doing.
You become ill, you loose a job, you loose a child – some of these may take a lifetime to recover from.
Especially, when we get stuck on the confidence that’s been lost.
“How could this be what you wanted God?”
In my musings of this, my gaze slowly changed focus to Jesus’ hand and his smile.
Jesus knew Peter would sink.
Jesus was not surprised…, but he knew Peter was.
However, Jesus replaces Peter’s shaky confidence he had placed in his circumstances and offered him one that never fails…
His hand.